A woman is worried her boyfriend is “a Nazi hiding behind Christ,” as she’s witnessed a dramatic shift in behavior, including racist comments, conspiracy theories, “delusional beliefs,” and him saying she’s on the “devil’s side” when she pushes back.
An anonymous woman is very, very concerned about her relationship, turning to Reddit’s Relationship Advice forum to detail a dramatic change she claims has happened with her boyfriend over the past year.
The OP (“Original Poster”) really isn’t sure what to do, or even how to approach him with her concerns, as she says what she’s tried so far is definitely not working.
The overwhelming consensus from Redditors is one of deep concern bordering on fear for the woman, with advice that she get away immediately.
Read on to find out what she’s been dealing with, and what she’s doing about it now.
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‘Spiraling Into Redpill’
The woman begins her story by saying that she (23F) has been with her boyfriend (28M) for three years. She noted that things were going great for the first two years of their relationship, “But since last year he’s been getting really into hardcore red Christianity and it’s enabling his racist and bigoted beliefs.”
While she can’t verify anything for sure, OP writes, “I’m assuming he’s being redpilled in the most basic of sense,” adding in the comments that he seems to get most of his news from TikTok now. She went on to explain, “His life has become a spiral of wacky conspiracy theories and delusional beliefs about demons and the end times. I’m very concerned for his mental health.”
“Every time I call him out on this s–t he goes after ME for being on the ‘devils side,'” OP lamented, adding, “This is not the man I met nor fell in love with. This is a Nazi hiding behind Christ.”
“It sickens me as a Latina women hearing his racist and bigoted beliefs about immigrants when my family came here from Cuba,” she continued, asking Redditors, “How do I navigate calling him out when he’s so reactive?”
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‘You Are Not Safe With This Man’
“Please break up before he gets violent with you,” pleaded one Redditor right away in a comment upvoted 2.5K times. OP jumped in with her own concerns, asking, “Genuinely does it seem that it could escalate to that?”
“Yes. He will escalate. You are no longer compatible. There is nothing you can do to change him back to whom you fell in love with,” the commenter replied. “If you stay, he will tear you down to a shadow of yourself. Walk away now. Pack while he’s at work (or school or away) and go.”
Another echoed the sentiment, writing, “Very, very few women who have been beaten and/or killed by their partners or husbands thought it could escalate to that.”
“Oh, honey. 🤦🏻♀️You’re an IMMIGRANT. How long do you SERIOUSLY think you have before he turns on YOU???” asked one commenter vehemently. “You should have been GONE at the FIRST bigoted words out of his mouth!!!”
You don’t navigate calling him out. You navigate your exit plan
It was a message echoed all throughout the comments, with one Redditor telling OP, “once they start dehumanization and says you are on the ‘devil’s side’ that is how they rationalize that violence against you is not just acceptable but good.”
There was also a consensus that she not even bother to break up with him in person, with one urging that OP “Ghost if she can.” Another agreed, “Yes. Run. Even if he doesn’t get violent, no a– for fash. Get out asap.”
“Grieve the man you loved, he is dead, and this is a bigoted, racist, moron wearing his body,” agreed another commenter. “Now ghost this idiot and go find a real man.” Another was even more direct, writing, “You do not navigate. You do not mediate. You pack your bags and you say ‘nope, not a f–king chance dude.'”
Others wondered if there was perhaps a genuine medical mental health situation developing here, with one commenter suggesting her BF is “at an age where schizophrenia is more likely to develop.” Acknowledging how difficult it might be to convince him to look into this, they encouraged OP to “advise his family & friends, or get a 72 hr psych hold if he acts in a way that seems dangerous to himself or others.”
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“He sounds like he’s spiraling from untreated mental illness. Some people get hyper religious as a symptom,” agreed another Redditor, who said they have a master’s in clinical psychology. “Some people with bipolar disorder can seem fine for months or even years and then suddenly have a phase with mania and religious obsessions. It can also increase paranoia and suspicion that can exacerbate racism.”
At the same time, they urged OP to sever her own connections, and absolutely not agree to go to therapy with him. One Redditor commented, “DO NOT attend therapy with him either. You never go to therapy with your abuser, it just teaches them how to be better manipulators.”
Instead, they urged her to let his family handle the situation, with one commenter advising OP to “tell them that they should do a mental health check on him, and then you walk away and block everything.”
“You don’t navigate calling him out. You navigate your exit plan,” urged another commenter in a very thorough comment. “Make sure it is a safe one. Make sure you have finances and important papers secured where he can’t touch them. Be prepared for him to try to stalk you. Have safety measures in place. If you are living together, get friends to be with you when you remove your belongings and leave when he isn’t home. He’s a scary person and your safety needs to take priority.”
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‘Well This Really Opened My Eyes’
After getting hit with a torrent of concern from Redditors, OP jumped back into her original post with an update about how much the comments section “really opened my eyes.”
She wrote, “I can say 3 months ago he was entirely different and wasn’t saying anything like he is now, it’s sudden.” And as a result of the overwhelming suggestions she was getting to get away immediately, it looks like OP is taking the advice.
“I left a message on his work phone saying he needs to get his stuff and go. I recommended mental health treatment too,” she wrote. “I’ll be with a friend for a few days. I had no idea this was that serious. Like Chris Watts serious.”
“I’m not sure when quirky conspiracy turned into full delusions, but it felt overnight,” she wrote.
What do you think?