Britney said that in 2000, she learned she was pregnant with then-boyfriend Justin Timberlake’s baby. “It was a surprise, but for me, it wasn’t a tragedy. I loved Justin so much. I always expected us to have a family together one day. This would just be much earlier than I’d anticipated,” she wrote. “But Justin definitely wasn’t happy about the pregnancy. He said we weren’t ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were way too young.” Of the abortion, she added, “I don’t know if that was the right decision. If it had been left up to me alone, I never would have done it. And yet Justin was so sure that he didn’t want to be a father.” Spears concluded, “To this day, it’s one of the most agonizing things I have ever experienced in my life.”
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Spears wrote that when Justin began writing his album, Justified, “he started being very standoffish with me” — with Britney assuming it was because he “decided to use me as ammunition for his record.” She said he dumped her via text message while she was on set for the Overprotected video — writing, “When I say devastated, I mean I could barely speak for months.” Touching on Cry Me a River, she said she doesn’t feel he “realized the power he had in shaming me”; she also defended Justin for talking about their sexual activities in post-breakup interviews, saying “I liked that Justin said that … his talking about our having had sex never bothered me at all … I never had to come out myself as a non-virgin.”
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Britney Spears said that after Justin slept with “six or seven girls” in the weeks after their 2003 split, she had a fling with Colin Farrell. Calling it a “a two-week brawl,” she describing their hookups by writing, “we were all over each other, grappling so passionately it was like we were in a street fight.” She added, “As I had before when I’d felt too attached to a man, I tried to convince myself in every way that it was not a big deal, that we were just having fun, that in this case I was vulnerable because I wasn’t over Justin yet.” While she wrote she thought “there could be something there,” she added, “The disappointments in my romantic life were just one part of how isolated I became.”
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Of her Las Vegas wedding to Jason Alexander in 2004, Britney writes the pair got “s–t faced” together. “I don’t even remember that night at all, but from what I’ve pieced together, he and I lounged around the hotel room and stayed up late watching movies … then had the brilliant idea of going to A Little White Chapel at three thirty in the morning,” she wrote. “People have asked me if I loved him. To be clear: he and I were not in love. I was just honestly very drunk — and probably, in a more general sense at that time in my life, very bored,” she added, saying her family “way too big a deal out of innocent fun” and “acted like I’d started World War III,” before she got an annulment.
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Of meeting Kevin Federline, Britney said, “Right away, from the moment I saw him, there was a connection between us—something that made me feel like I could escape everything that was hard in my life.” She said she felt safe when he held her, saying he was “steady, strong, a comfort.” Though she said he had a “bad boy image,” Spears claimed she had no idea he had a kid or that his ex-girlfriend was 8-months pregnant with their second child when they met. “I was living in a bubble … “I had no idea until after we’d been together for a while and someone told me.” She added, “So, a number was done on me, obviously. I had no idea.”
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Spears said their sex was “absolutely amazing” throughout her pregnancies, but felt they were getting more estranged while she was expecting their second child, as he worked on his music. “It seemed like he wanted to pretend I didn’t exist,” she wrote, saying Kevin was “just so enthralled with the fame and the power … I’ve seen fame and money ruin people, and I saw it happen with Kevin in slow motion.” Of his music, she added, “He really thought he was a rapper now. Bless his heart — because he did take it so seriously.”
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Britney explained she filed for divorce from Federline so he didn’t do it first, adding, “That’s one thing Justin and Kevin ruined about me. I used to trust people. But after the breakup with Justin and then my divorce, I never really did trust people again.” She also accused him of trying “to convince everyone that I was completely out of control” amid their custody battle and keeping their kids from her, before her head-shaving incident and conservatorship. “I’d tried so hard with him. I’d given my everything. And he’d turned on me,” she concluded.
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Britney doesn’t refer to ex Adnan Ghalib by name, simply referring to him as “the photographer” in the book. She wrote, “I was completely infatuated with him. He’d been a paparazzo, and I understood that people thought he was up to no good, but all I could see at the time was that he was chivalrous and helped me out when the others got too aggressive.” She said she didn’t know he was married and she was “essentially his mistress,” but credited him with helping her with her depression and giving her the “attention I needed,” calling it a “lustful relationship.”
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She later dated Jason Trawick, who was friends with her brother Bryan. “He was ten years older than me and really had his life together. I loved that he wasn’t a performer but was an agent, so he knew the business and understood my life,” she wrote, “We did have a great relationship. I felt a lot of love for him and from him.” The two got engaged, with Britney writing, “He got me through a lot of things.”
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Things went downhill for them when he became co-conservator, with Spears noting her “feelings changed. She wrote, “II see now that having him tied up with the organization controlling my life might have played a part in draining the romance out of our relationship.” Eventually, she said, she realized she “didn’t love him anymore” and they stopped sleeping together. “I literally closed the door to him,” she wrote, saying he then broke up with her. “But I didn’t care because I’d fallen out of love with him,” she said, adding he soon “disappeared” and resigned as co-conservator. Spears said it seemed like he had “something of an identity crisis” after the split; “He put colored streaks in his hair and went to the Santa Monica Pier and rode bikes every day with a bunch of tattooed dudes. Hey, I get it. Now that I’m in my forties, I’m going through my own identity crisis. I think it was just time for us to part ways.”
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In 2015, she began dating producer Charlie Ebersol — saying he “seemed like marriage material. “I loved him,” she wrote, saying he was very into fitness and nutrition and gave her energy supplements — of which her father didn’t approve. Spears wrote that her dad “sent me to rehab” to get her off the “over-the-counter, not prescription” supplements. The relationship came to an end “after a stupid fight,” she wrote, saying “Charlie and I got so prideful that we stopped speaking to each other. It was the dumbest thing. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him, and he had too much pride to talk to me.”
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Britney only had great things to say about ex-husband Sam Asghari despite their recent split. “I knew I wanted him in my life immediately. I was instantly smitten,” she said of meeting him on the Slumber Party music video set. “The chemistry with us in the beginning was insane. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. He called me his lioness,” she wrote, later saying she looks “up to him” and “his consistency with working out and being a good man and being healthy and taking care of me and helping me learn how we can take care of each other.”
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Britney said that “the timing of the end of the conservatorship was perfect for our relationship; we were able to establish a new life together, without limitations, and get married.” She went on to call their wedding “a beautiful celebration of how much we’d been through together and how deeply we wished for each other’s happiness.” She also said the two were excited to get pregnant, only to later be “devastated” when she miscarried. She does not address their divorce, though TMZ notes she did make changes to the book after their split — so she could have.
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