Jared’s Idiocracy Godfather Play Is So Bad

Look, we’re not going to say that Jared is playing the worst game of Big Brother we’ve ever seen, but it just keeps getting worse and worse. On top of that, he’s in the house with a legend of this type of game and his ego won’t let him slow down and listen to her.

Not only did he quickly saddle himself with a showmance — and even she doesn’t fully trust him — that’s addling his senses, he’s blabbing secret information indiscriminately. He’s also doing it rather ridiculously.

Here’s the latest example, revealed tonight. Matt had told Cirie about his Power of Invincibility and she was with him when he decided to use it to save Jag on Thursday. Matt had also told Jag in advance of that vote, to give him a heads up.

But that’s it. Two people outside of Matt knew. Then, because he’s her obvious number one in the House, Cirie decided to tell Jared. She also told him that no one else knew about this and to keep it to himself. So what does he do?

He immediately ran to Jag to cryptically hint around that it may be that Jag and he are both staying. Jared’s strategy is always to be cryptic and pretend that he knows everything in hopes that people will trust him.

But telling people that they don’t need to know the whole thing, bro, and to just trust what he’s telling them, bro, and to just bow down to his grace — it’s obnoxious. In this case, it also immediately tipped off Jag.

Jag then went to Cirie and asked her if she’d told anyone. She, of course, lied and then she confronted Jared about telling Jag. He admitted he might have screwed up and then proceeded to screw up even more.

Telling Cirie he’d fix it, his solution was to basically attack Jag, accuse him of telling the secret Jared had told him and threaten him. “I may know more than what you think, bro, and if you lying to me, Jag, that’s gonna be–“

He honestly left it hang there like some damned threat and he’s the godfather or something. This is how you make amends and try to fix your mistakes? You bully your way through the house? Did he think Jag would just lay down and die?

You know what Jag’s first thought was. Well, he’d just confronted Cirie to see if she’d told anybody. Suddenly, Jared’s confronting him. Yep, looks like Cirie is feeing information to Jared. Cirie’s baby boy is so, so, so bad at this game, and he’s so full of himself, he thinks he’s pretty great.

We could go on an on, but at this point, Jared is doing everything he can do sabotage both his game and Cirie’s game. And poor Mama Cirie has no idea just how much he’s blowing up their games with his inexorable imbecility.

She needs to lose the blind spot that is her son and stop treating him like an equal in this game, because he’s not. She needs instead to start managing him like she does everyone else, and definitely control what intel he does and does not have access to.

With Cameron’s Head of Household reign last week basically being a wash after Jag was saved from eviction, he was eligible to compete in this week’s competition. It was a very simplified version of a game we’ve seen before, which has Houseguests ID’ing objects in pictures.

The silly twist of this was that the comp came from the Scramble-verse and it scrambled up famous BB showmances. It was fun hearing the voices of past Houseguests, but the competition itself was a little underwhelming.

There’s also a revealing element, as the winner of each rounds picks the next two competitors. RIght away, it was evident that Red was being targeted, and that people like Cirie, Felicia, and Jared were being all but ignored.

Izzy did get called up there a lot, but this was in part because her alliance members believed in her speed and accuracy … which was pretty spot-on. She made it to the final round, which was her fourth round of play.

Here’s where it gets kind of hilarious, for us. Jared was on his third round of play, having beaten Cameron in the first round and Cirie in the second-to-last. But in the final round, all he had to do was stand there. Izzy buzzed in first — and Izzy buzzed in wrong.

Jared won by default. He basically had a victory handed to him. Now, Izzy admitted in a Diary Room session she was actually gunning for it, but it’s not like this is some big victory that Jared can tout from the rooftops. Except that apparently it was.

Nevertheless, a win is a win and this is good news overall for Jared, Cirie, Izzy and their side of the House. The problem is that they’ve been paying a game of subtle maneuvers and finesse and Jared’s style is a big, ol’ arrogant sledgehammer. This will not be a clean week, we’d wager.

Ultimately, Jared did make the big move he’d promised he would. He put up last week’s power duo of Cameron and Red. Was this smart? Probably not. If his target was Cameron, and the House was largely on board with that, why not do as they did Hisam and set up a backdoor?

Cameron has proven himself more than capable of winning competitions. Now, there’s a reasonable chance one of the two of them could come off the Block, as they’ve both won before. That creates a backdoor option, which right now seems to be Bowie.

Wouldn’t it have been smarter to start with Bowie and Red and maybe try to throw the comp to Red so Cameron can get backdoored? Or even pull Bowie down with whomever wins (if it isn’t Red) and then put the Chillers up together? Well, what do we know. Clearly not as much as Jared. He cryptically tells everyone that much. He knows more than all of us.

Uh-huh. RIght.

Matthew Klotz (27, deaflympics gold medalist) slides into our top spot because everyone loves him in the house, he got a ride-or-die with Jag and he’s currently in good with Cirie. As much as her game is on the shakiest ground of the season so far, it’s way too soon to count Mama Cirie out. RIght now, Matt is aligned where he needs to be, and props to him for making the bold move of saving an ally, who is now incredibly loyal to him over anyone else … except maybe Blue. [Grade: B+]

Cirie Fields (53, nurse) has one blind spot and that is Jared. We hope she figures out quickly how much he is hurting her game and figures out how to navigate around that. The damage he did this week alone has created multiple groups of people now questioning her loyalty … all so he could play godfather and try to intimidate the house. [Grade: B]

Cory Wurtenberger (21, college student) and America are seeing what’s going on in the house and they are sitting back and biding their time. This season has been all about taking out big threats, leaving the middle players to pick at the scraps. Cory is playing the middle like he was born to it. So far, it’s working. We give credit for him recognizing who’s running things and biding his time. Just don’t want too long. [Grade: B-]

Felicia Cannon (63, real estate agent) is slipping slowly down the rankings as more and more people in the house are starting to realize who the power players are. She’s not as crafty in her game than Cirie, nor is she quite as universally beloved and trusted — save what happened this week with Jag and Jared. Felicia could find herself targeted if the wrong people take power. [Grade: B-]

Blue Kim (25, brand strategist) is paying a lot more attention than we realized. Her conversation with Jag about withholding her complete trust even from her showmance Jared tells us she’s a lot more in tune with this game than we realized. It also means she’s playing him more than he’s playing her, as she’s not the loyal soldier he thinks she is. In fact, she sees the real threats in the house. If she and Jag get with Cory and America, they could really do something. [Grade: C+]

Mecole Hayes (30, political consultant) is on absolutely no one’s radar at this point, which is remarkable at this stage of the game. [Grade: C]

America Lopez (27, medical receptionist) is definitely a smart player who sees what’s happening in the house. But she also sees their relative helplessness to do much about it at this time. The difference between her and Cory is that her name is already in other people’s mouths (and sometimes in really disgusting ways). She’s on their radar as a threat, for some reason. [Grade: C-]

Jared Fields (25, exterminator) is bumbling his way through this game despite the best efforts of the smarter people in his alliance. It is by their grace alone that he hasn’t completely blown up his own game. Our fear is that Jared in power is going to continue this week’s arc of blowing up all of their games by trying to play some idiocracy godfather routine. [Grade: C-]

Jag Bains (25, truck company owner) survived last week, but remains vulnerable and largely unaligned. It doesn’t help that he now has serious, serious trust issues, albeit legitimately so. Just trusting Blue is only going to get him so far, so he’s going to have to work on faking it until he makes it. He just needs to choose which way to go. [Grade: D+]

Izzy Gleicher (32, professional flutist) remains the most vulnerable member of the Fields Family players (which includes her and Mama Felicia) because she’s thus far rubbed the most people the wrong way, and she cannot control her face. Jared’s just lucky most people aren’t yet associating him with Cirie’s side of the house. [Grade: C-]

Bowie Jane Ball (45, barrister/DJ) is now being associated with Red and Cameron, which is bad news for her as they’re the targets this week. If one of them goes down, she seems the most likely candidate to go up … though we’re not sure she’d go home over either of the guys. They’re definitely bigger competition threats than she is. [Grade: D+]

Red Utley (37, sales) might be in a better position than Cameron in the house after Jared told him that his Chillers boy basically threw him under the bus this week, agreeing to sit as a pawn if necessary to get his ride-or-die out of the house. That’s a hard blow. Red has proven he’s smarter in this game than people give him credit for, but we’re not sure most of the house is ready to trust him very far. [Grade: D]

Cameron Hardin (34, stay-at-home dad) is the target and the biggest threat of those currently on the wrong side of the numbers. He basically needs to win Veto to save himself. Then, he needs to do some serious damage control, or align himself with the non-Cirie side of the house and really try and galvanize some momentum from the middle players, or he’ll find himself targeted again and again. It’s too early to make that kind of run successfully. [Grade: D]

• “Dammit, he was on his way out the door. We get a 10-0, brakes, throw it in reverse. The whole week don’t even matter.” –Cameron (in DR after Invincibility saves Jag)
• “I’m riding or dying for Matt. He’s my guy.” –Jag (in DR after Matt saved him with Invincibility)
• “The good thing is that it’s used. Now we can uite losing our minds over what it is and who had it. It doesn’t matter.” –Cameron (to Red about Invincibility)
• “There aren’t many things in this House I don’t know about, I must say so myself.” –Cirie (in DR)
• “I know Jag played, he told me, but I don’t think he won based on his demeanor. I think it was Matt.” –America (to Izzy)
• “I know who won. I’m the only one who knows, ’cause if you say anything, okay?” –Cirie (telling Jared Matt won Invincibility)
• “Just know, bro, it may be a high possibility.” –Jared (can’t resist hinting to Jag)
• “That we both stay?” –Jag
• “Matt told me that only me and Cirie told me about the power, so I’m just thinking, what does Jared know and who did he hear it from?” –Jag (in DR)
• “I’ll clean that up. Damn.” –Jared (after Cirie tells him Jag told her he told him)
• “I’m just trying to make my own moves in this game and do what’s best for me, but I think I may have got myself in some hot water with my mom with this decision here.” –Jared (in DR)
• “You didn’t say nothing, did you? I know you had to say it, bro. I’m telling you, I may know more than what you think, bro and if you lying to me, Jag, that’s gonna be–” –Jared (threatening Jag)
• “I think Cirie told Jared. That’s the only way it’s adding up for me, so I don’t know if I can fully trust Cirie when it comes to working together.” –Jag (in DR)
• “The selections are so interesting.” –Bowie (to Red during HOH Comp)
• “Payback is gonna be a bitch, Cameron!” –Blue (in DR after Jared wins HOH)
• “I’ve accepted all possible outcomes that can possibly happen in this game. I’m a-chillin’.” –Red (to Cameron)
• “He can be talked to.” –Cameron
• “Don’t turn into Hisam.” –Cirie (to Jared)
• “I’m so proud. That’s my boy. He’s, like, blossoming into this great player right in front of my eyes.” –Cirie (in DR … but about that)
• “I’m happy with whatever decision Jared makes, as long as it’s one of those three.” –Cirie (in DR about Cameron, Red, Bowie)
• “I feel like Cirie and Felicia have little hands on everybody.” –Blue (to Jag)
• “All the whispers go back to them. Who do you think is actually running things?” –Jag
• “Cirie.” –Blue
• “I just don’t understand. Why does everybody trust Cirie?” –America (to Cory)
• “Cirie’s very good at this. She’s been doing this for 17 years.” –Cory
• “How do you feel about sitting next to Red?” –Jared (to Cameron)
• “No. I did two weeks. I don’t wanna be the damned Pawn King.” –Cameron
• “I love him so much, but he’s not gonna write that check.” –Cameron (to Jared about Red)

Big Brother airs Sundays and Wednesdays at 8pm ET, and Thursdays at 9pm ET on CBS.