Comedian Amy Schumer has plenty of shade for “narcissist” Tom Sandoval, but says she doesn’t have “Raquel rage” for the woman he cheated on Ariana Madix with as she weighs in on all things “Vanderpump Rules” and the “Scandoval” that rocked the nation.
Amy Schumer is an unabashed Bravo super-fan and had zero shame in admitting that “Vanderpump Rules” has been her life these past few months as the “Scandoval” erupted and took over the nation.
With the final part of the “Pump Rules” reunion airing this week — including Raquel Leviss’ final “bombshell” that she and Tom Sandoval had continued lying up to and through the reunion — Andy Cohen decided to give Amy “the last word” on the whole scandal.
Of course, we all know that’s not really gonna be the case, because Season 11 of “Pump Rules” is getting ready to start filming later this month, and that cast is cashing in — and no one more than the woman Sandoval cheated on, Ariana Madix.
Like everyone else, Amy has nothing but kind words for Ariana and she’s rooting for her to have only good things for the future. She even admitted she doesn’t have the “Raquel rage” that so many people have.
A lot of that has to do with the final segment of the reunion, which actually took place six days after taping when Raquel came in for a final confessional where she came clean about a lot of things Sandoval had wanted them to continue lying about.
“It’s not like she’s completely innocent,” Amy conceded during her chat with Andy. At the same time, she said, “I feel like Sandoval’s kind of an abuser; he’s telling her what to say.”
Of that final segment itself, Schumer likened it to another sobering final segment. “You need a minute,” she said of watching that final installment of the reunion. “It’s like the end of ‘Schindler’s List.'” Obviously, it’s nowhere near as serious or that, but her point stands — it’s a pretty impactful moment.
Also impactful were some of James Kennedy’s instantly classic insults lobbed at Raquel and even more at Sandoval. He called them both “poo-poo heads,” and dubbed Sandoval “a worm with a mustache.”
“How did something happen where I like James Kennedy now?” Amy asked, while admitting that she’d dipped in to check out some of the merch based on these burns.
As for Sandoval, she lamented that “he not only ruined white nail polish, he ruined the mustache for a lot of people.”
“I think Tom Selleck,” she said, “He’s probably furious right now.”
She also weighed in on Sandoval’s most hated comment of the night during Part 3, when he whined that Ariana kept her t-shirt on when they had sex — choosing to say this after Ariana pointed out the person he was having sex with after he started sleeping with Raquel was her.
“When he said, yeah, uh, her t-shirt was on, like, first of all, I usually have sex with a t-shirt on, okay?” said Amy. “You can’t just be out there in the wind.”
“That was so revolting,” she added. “I just feel like every woman’s vagina just snapped shut when he said that.”
During the Aftershow, Andy offered Amy the final word — yeah, right — about the whole “Scandoval” and she first said that she wished them all well (though it quickly became clear she didn’t quite mean all of them.
She then said more specifically, “I hope that they fall out of these patterns of getting with these men who just love bomb them. You know, these young women, you think that’s love, somebody just puts that much on you, and that’s not really love.”
She continued this train of thought when Andy asked if she thought Raquel and Sandoval might have a chance as a couple. “Of course not,” she said definitively. “He will replace her and put someone else on a pedestal and then he’ll demean them. She’ll be a casualty, but she’s , so she’ll learn. I hope she finds real love and real self-love.”
Elsewhere in the broadcast, Amy became the first member of the “Plead the Fifth” five-timers club — stealing liberally from “Saturday Night Live” with that one, Andy — completely with a jacket and another rousing round of “F-M-K” (you know what those stand for!).
You might be surprised who she’d “F” and who she’d “K” when Andy asked her to choose between Sandoval, Schwartz, and James Kennedy.
She also explained the real reason she dropped out of the “Barbie” movie, and why she’s now excited about it anyway and eager to see it. You can check out all of that below.