Tallulah Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, is opening up to Vogue about her dad’s frontotemporal dementia diagnosis and how the 68-year-old is doing today.
The 29-year-old explained, “I’ve known that something was wrong for a long time. It started out with a kind of vague unresponsiveness, which the family chalked up to Hollywood hearing loss: ‘Speak up! ‘Die Hard’ messed with Dad’s ears.’”
Tallulah said, “Later that unresponsiveness broadened, and I sometimes took it personally. He had had two babies with my stepmother, Emma Heming Willis, and I thought he’d lost interest in me.”
She now knows “this couldn’t have been further from the truth, my adolescent brain tortured itself with some faulty math: I’m not beautiful enough for my mother, I’m not interesting enough for my father.”
At first, Tallulah was in “denial,” but said after receiving treatment for an eating disorder and a borderline personality disorder diagnosis, she’s able to face her father’s health issues.
“Recovery is probably lifelong, but I now have the tools to be present in all facets of my life, and especially in my relationship with my dad,” she said.
These days Tallulah says, “I can bring him an energy that’s bright and sunny, no matter where I’ve been. In the past I was so afraid of being destroyed by sadness, but finally I feel that I can show up and be relied upon.”
She added, “I can savor that time, hold my dad’s hand, and feel that it’s wonderful.”
As for Bruce’s life today, she said, “These days, my dad can be reliably found on the first floor of the house, somewhere in the big open plan of the kitchen-dining-living room, or in his office. Thankfully, dementia has not affected his mobility.”
She added, “He still knows who I am and lights up when I enter the room.”
Tallulah is also taking lots of photos at her dad’s house, and paying closer attention to the “state of things.”
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“I’m like an archaeologist, searching for treasure in stuff that I never used to pay much attention to,” Tallulah said. “I have every voicemail from him saved on a hard drive. I find that I’m trying to document, to build a record for the day when he isn’t there to remind me of him and of us.”
She’s also “flipping between the present and the past,” saying, “That’s because I have hopes for my father that I’m so reluctant to let go of. I’ve always recognized elements of his personality in me, and I just know that we’d be such good friends if only there were more time.”
Tallulah calls him “cool and charming and slick and stylish and sweet and a little wacky… and I embrace all that. Those are the genes I inherited from him.”
Recalling the dad she grew up with, Tallulah shared, “Having grown up a Jersey boy with a scarcity mentality, he loved to enjoy the life he had made for himself. He was an indulger. Sometimes we’d go to a restaurant and he’d order one of everything on the menu just to have a bite of it all. He always loved a cozy couch with his feet up. Can you be 10 percent more comfortable? I think he asked himself that every day.”