Jada Confronts Gammy Over ‘Situation’ With Narcissist on Red Table Talk

The topic of narcissism has come to the Red Table.

On Wednesday’s episode of Facebook Watch’s “Red Table Talk,” Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Norris (AKA “Gammy”) were joined by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a renowned psychologist, who shared insight into how narcissists work and explained how people can handle them, including those who are in abusive relationships fueled by narcissism.

The first type of narcissist they discussed was the malignant narcissist, with Dr. Ramani noting that these people can be both “physically dangerous” and “very psychologically dangerous.”

Jada admitted that she’s seen this kind of narcissist in action, revealing that she had to pull away from her friend who was married to one.

“Unfortunately, I had to distance myself from my girlfriend and her husband because it was — it was just too brutal to watch,” Jada explained. “That’s why it’s so upsetting because, you know, I’ve seen it. It’s awful and it can be so insidious.”

Dr. Ramani said narcissism “is at the core” of all domestically abusive relationships.

“Absolutely,” Jada said in agreement. “Emotionally abusive relationships and physically abusive relationships. I have to agree with you.”

“That makes total sense. I never even thought about –” Gammy added, before Willow chimed in, “Because even that lack of empathy, like, to see someone being so physically hurt and to keep kicking them while they’re down?”

The ladies then examined covert narcissists, who Dr. Ramani said always believe they are the victim.

“The number one thing you should do is really avoid the temptation to rescue [a covert narcissist],” Dr. Ramani told the table. “Because a lot of people almost want to jump into shrink mode with them. ‘No, no, no, you’re really great’ or ‘Oh, let me see if I can fix this. You don’t like this restaurant? We can go find another.’ See what I’m saying? A lot of people fall into that rescue-y place.”

Both Jada and Willow admitted that they have made that mistake.

“But if it’s a family member, you feel like you have a responsibility to help rescue them,” Gammy added and Dr. Ramani replied, “Right, but here’s the thing. You never can.”

Jada then tapped the table in front of Gammy, revealing that her mom is currently “in a situation right now.”

“So this might break you of the cycle,” Dr. Ramani told Gammy. “‘Cause it’s gonna get you nowhere.”

Jada added, “You see what cycle you’ve been in and how it’s been frustrating, how it’s taken up so much of your time. When that person is just… [hums melody].”

When Gammy pointed out how covert narcissists seem to “enjoy” playing the victim, Dr. Ramani  agreed, noting that’s how they “get validation.”

Later in the episode, Willow brought up the topic of gaslighting and how it relates to narcissism.

“It seems like gaslighting is a main narcissistic trait,” she explained, prompting Dr. Ramani to go into detail.

“Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where you really kind of get power over a person by doubting and invalidating their reality,” she told the table. “You deny their reality. And when you deny someone’s reality, 90 percent of people are like, ‘Maybe they’re right. Maybe I didn’t say that.’ We doubt ourselves.”

“When it happens repeatedly, you feel like you’re literally going crazy,” Dr. Ramani continued. “You no longer believe yourself. The only person who can really gaslight you is someone who either has some power or who you already trust a little already. That’s why family members gaslight. That’s why partners gaslight…Gaslighting is lying and then twisting the knife further so you feel crazy.”

Meanwhile, Dr. Ramani sat down with a young man who was worried he’s becoming a narcissist as his father is one.

See how it went down in the full episode, above.

“Red Table Talk” airs Wednesdays at 9 am PT/12 pm ET on Facebook Watch.