“Am I embarrassed of Tristan? Absolutely. But honestly, I think all these people are embarrassing. So he fits right in with the family.” -Nori.
The woman behind Nori’s Black Book — a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian’s sassy 7-year-old daughter — continues to bring her talents to TooFab.
Each week, “Nori” recaps new episodes of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
Thursday’s episode started with Kylie filming her cameo in the now iconic Cardi B and Megan the Stallion music video for “WAP.” Kris and Corey showed up on set to support Kylie. Kris thanked Cardi for asking Kylie to be in her video. Cardi was happy Kylie could do the cameo and she admitted that she was actually nervous to meet Kylie. Kris facilitated the meeting to ease Cardi’s nerves. Cardi told Kylie that she prayed to God for Kylie to be in the video and Kylie said she was excited to be in it. Before Kylie returned to filming, the girls had small talk about their daughters and their quarantine weight gain.
North West: Belcalis asked me to be in the video, but quickly realized she couldn’t afford me. The budget for this thing was low, honey.
Back at the Malibu vacation house, Khloe confronted Scott about a comment he made on her picture on Instagram. Khloe posted a photo of herself to promote her company Good American and Scott left the comment, “Tristan is a lucky man!” After he made the comment, Khloe was bombarded with text messages from friends and her publicist wanting answers about the status of her relationship with Tristan. Khloe and Tristan were still trying to figure things out, but she wanted to navigate things her way. Khloe eventually deleted Scott’s comment to try to get rid of all the drama. Scott felt bad, but said that was just him being him. Khloe didn’t think anything was particularly wrong with it, but it was how the public treated her. She had to remove her tagged photos because people were calling her a clown. Kim and Scott didn’t think she should be bowing down to what the public thought. Scott said there has to come a point where Tristan wouldn’t want to feel like Khloe is still embarrassed of him. For Khloe, she didn’t want her peers to look at her like she was crazy. Her and Tristan were fine when there was no outside noise. Khloe had always been open about her relationship, but recently she hadn’t been able to make up her mind because she’s been so flooded with everyone’s opinions and criticisms. She couldn’t be pressured to give people answers that she didn’t even have for herself.
NW: I told everyone long ago to block Scott. It would really prevent a lot of drama.
After the Instagram talk, Kim’s daughter North came into the room. Khloe asked North who was her favorite brother. Without hesitation, North answered, “Psalm.” Kim was not surprised. Khloe figured it was because he couldn’t talk yet, but North said it was because he’s not that annoying.
NW: I’d rather have no brother if it really came down to it. The boys in this family are more of a liability than an asset. I have no doubt that I’ll have to pretend to like my brothers’ socks, hot sauce or whatever strange products they are going to be selling in 30 years.
Later, Kim, Khloe and Malika spent some time outside to talk. Malika asked Kim if Kanye was running for President and if she was going to be the next First Lady. Kim gave a nervous laugh and said she was not sure, but it had been a long day. In her confessional, Kim said that even though there are things in the media and Twitter, she has tried to be respectful by not publicly talking about the issues that she and Kanye had been having. Kim started to give Malika more details about her thoughts on Kanye, but stopped herself and said she didn’t want to talk about Kanye on camera.
In her confessional, Khloe said that Kim is really private, but she knew because Kim was not talking about it at all, not even to the family in private, that her situation with Kanye was really affecting her.
Kendall came over to have lunch with Khloe and Malika. Khloe’s daughter, True, crashed the lunch to see what Khloe was eating. Malika mentioned there were so many kids around and Kendall said that sometimes it makes her think about having kids. Malika said that was natural, but she has plenty of time to have kids. Kendall admitted she got a little jealous when Kylie and her best friend had their babies. Malika could relate because she felt the same way after Khloe had a baby. Kendall is the only one that doesn’t have a kid and sometimes she saw her nieces playing together and she would start to think about kids. She wanted kids badly and soon. Khloe was sure that Kendall’s baby fever was very temporary. Khloe offered Kendall to do a trial run with Malika’s son (who is 4 months old), with no help.
NW: The one who refused to get pregnant to save the show now wants a baby? It’s the audacity for me.
Later Scott and Khloe met up for a chat near the beach. Scott told Tristan he felt bad about the comment he made on Instagram because Khloe got all the drama. He was just trying to be nice. Tristan didn’t see anything wrong with it because he’s not a secret. Scott understood that Khloe was scared and that people perceive her as a pushover, but that wasn’t true. According to Scott, Tristan worked hard to get out of the dog house for over a year. Tristan said that if they were to be back together no outside opinions should matter. Scott said if they are talking about having another child they should be able to say their together. Tristan said that he and Khloe hung out all the time and they vacationed like a couple. The way Tristan saw it, they were basically a couple. Scott said the only thing stopping Khloe from being with Tristan was the outside world and that was pointless.
NW: Scott giving relationship advice is always a good time. Yes, Scott please tell us how you and the girl that still drinks out of a sippy cup are making your relationship work? What’s your secret?
Khloe and Malika set-up Malika’s son, Ace, for Kendall to babysit at Khloe’s house. Malika explained to Kendall how to change Ace’s diaper. There were some special instructions because Ace is a boy. Kendall looked shook! Khloe and Malika headed out to run errands and left Kendall alone with the baby. Five minutes in, Kendall didn’t know what to do. She tried to feed Ace, but he was really fussy. Kendall eventually got Ace to calm down and actually decided babysitting was way easier than she thought it would be. When Khloe and Malika returned after a few hours they were surprised at how easy watching the baby was for Kendall. Khloe then offered Kendall to babysit Chicago and True.
NW: This is why I don’t let the Malikas bring their kids to work. I’m running an empire, not a daycare. Ace is a cutie, but keep him at home.
Later, Khloe, Kris, Kourtney, Penelope had lunch at the Malibu vacation home. Kim was outside on the phone trying to arrange a visit to Wyoming to see Kanye. Kim was frustrated with him because he had been posting things on social media. Kris didn’t know how Kim was dealing with the stress of it all because she had a lot going on from Kanye to law school. Kourtney said that Kim couldn’t possibly navigate it all on her own. Khloe said she rather be a listening ear and prefers to not give advice. Kris suggested they do something for Kim to lighten the energy surrounding her. Kourt agreed to planning something to take Kim’s mind off of things.
At Khloe’s house, Khloe let Kendall know that they were going to set her up with some of their kids of different ages. Kendall survived Ace, but an infant was so easy. Kourtney, Khloe, and Kim would have a girls night and Kendall would get to think about her life choices while she was dealing with a bunch of screaming toddlers.
Back in Malibu, Kim and Tristan had a talk about his relationship with Khloe. He said that some days are good, but some days Khloe is frustrated with the media. Kim didn’t think it was about Khloe getting over the past, but more about what other people are going to think. Tristan thought they were never going to get to the finish line if they tried to please the masses. Kim thought that Tristan should just talk to Khloe and tell her that he didn’t want to be a kept secret. Tristan agreed and said he would keep Kim posted.
NW: Tristan and I talked too and he also said he’d keep me updated. I asked him not to because I didn’t have the energy to care. Between the pandemic and working on my SKIMS Cozy Collection, I simply didn’t have the bandwidth. Bother Scott with this. He’s unemployed, so he has the time.
Kendall arrived back at Khloe’s house ready to babysit True, Chicago, and Psalm. Khloe said that toddlers are very different from infants because you have to entertain them. There’s not a lot of down time. Three toddlers was going to be exhausting. Before Khloe left for the girl’s night in Malibu, she let Kendall know that she would probably be a little drunk, so if there was an emergency she should call Tristan or the police. Kendall was officially nervous.
In Malibu, Kourtney and Khloe surprised Kim with a girl’s night. Kourtney said it was a chill night for Kim’s enjoyment. Kim thought it was really sweet that they planned the night for her because there were so many stressful things going on, so she needed it.
At dinner Khloe grilled Kourtney about who she was dating. Kourtney said she was not currently dating anyone and she didn’t want to date anyone. Khloe asked how many people DM’ed her and she said hundreds. Kim said they should get drunk and go through her DMs. Khloe asked if she still talked to one of her exes and Kourtney said never, but he texted every once and a while. Khloe thought that prying into Kourtney’s sex life would help distract Kim from her own problems.
NW: I need the receipts of these DMs.
Back at Khloe’s house, Kris checked on Kendall to see how babysitting was going. While Kendall was on the phone a fight broke out between Chicago and True. Things seemed to spiral out of control. Kendall officially had anxiety.
In Malibu, Khloe asked Kim how her and Kanye were doing. Kim unenthusiastically said they were moseingly on along. Kourtney said that Kanye called her to say it would be nice to be able to say things. Kourtney agreed he could say things to get people to start thinking a certain way, but did he have to say the tweets publicly? Kanye agreed with her that he shouldn’t have said those things publicly and it should’ve been one on one. Khloe abruptly changed the subject because they were not supposed to be talking about any of this at girl’s night. The girls began doing some heavy drinking! Khloe hoped that Kim was having a good time with no responsibilities.
Meanwhile, Kendall was trying to put the kids to bed. The kids were not cooperating.
The next day, on the way home, Kim and Khloe wondered why Kendall never called them. Khloe couldn’t figure out if that was a good or bad thing. Kim thought that Kendall could’ve just been trying to play it cool.
Khloe asked Kim if she had a good time and Kim said she did. Khloe was glad and wanted her to know that she’s never a burden to the family, they loved her, and they supported her with whatever she chose to do. Kim said that sometimes she needed to figure things out on her own and that she was going to go to Wyoming to figure it out. Everything was going to be okay.
When the girls got back to Khloe’s house, the kids were eating and Kendall was still taking care of them. Kendall said the kids were great and they made her feel better about having kids one day. Kendall had a long night, but felt super lucky she got experience with all her nieces and nephews.
NW: If she is serious about this being a mom thing, I’d be down to give her Saint. We can spare a kid.
Back in Malibu, Tristan told Khloe he had a conversation with Kim and Scott about Scott’s comment on social media. He liked the comment, but it was weird for him that Khloe deleted the comment. He understood he hurt her and people were talking bad about her, but he felt like their bond and how far they had come was stronger than letting other people hold them up. Khloe said she was going to keep things private and not overexpose certain areas in her life. She was grateful for Tristan, but as far as romance, she was still guarded. Because she was still figuring things out, she wanted to keep these things private. Tristan didn’t feel it was about privacy, he felt it was about her keeping a secret. For him he felt like a side piece. Khloe didn’t see it that way and said it was more about the aftermath of the comment, than the actual comment. She was at a breaking point because the public always had an opinion about her weight, her face, her personal life and she was done hearing it. She apologized for hurting Tristan’s feelings, but said she had to protect her mental health. She was working on letting things go and getting her confidence back. Tristan said they can try together because he put her in the position. He was going to be by her side.
NW: Am I embarrassed of Tristan? Absolutely. But honestly, I think all these people are embarrassing. So he fits right in with the family.
“Keeping Up with the Kardashians” airs Thursday nights at 8 p.m. on E!