“I felt like [there was] lack of respect for what I was doing,” Caussin said.
Jana Kramer is recalling the “blow up” fights she had with her husband Mike Caussin during a recent trip to Canada.
Taking to Instagram on Tuesday, the “One Tree Hill” alum posted a photo of herself crying — which she said was from the trip — and teased the latest episode of her and her husband’s “Whine Down” podcast.
“Nothing is perfect. This was a few weeks ago in Canada,” began Kramer, 37, in the post’s caption. “I took this picture to almost remind myself that even though in the moment it seems like everything is doomed it’s not. We talked about our blow up on this week’s podcast.”
“I think it’s an important one for everyone to hear,” she continued. “No relationship is perfect and when blow ups or fights happen sometimes we believe it’s done and over but really it’s a moment for growth and more understanding and to lean into your partner. Now, when you’re in the middle of the fire, it’s hard to lean in and see that but just know it’s not the end of the world.”
Kramer concluded by stressing that all couples have “these moments.”
“[You’re] not alone,” she said. “Fights happen. No relationship is perfect. Now the important thing is in the end are you fighting the good fight together?”
On Tuesday’s episode of their “Whine Down” podcast, Kramer and Caussin detailed the “blow up” fights they had while they were in Canada, where the former was shooting a movie. The couple shared that they slept separately on most nights so Kramer could get more sleep, however, they were also “fighting” during the trip.
“Truthfully, first and foremost, I worked later than normal [on a new movie] and … I would want to sleep in,” Kramer said, to which Caussin quipped, “I was sleeping in another room out of the kindness of my heart.”
“But then the other times, we were fighting,” Kramer added with a laugh. “And mama gets the master.”
When Kramer asked what her husband believes was behind their “bad blow ups,” Caussin explained why he felt “resentment” over having to watch their two children Jolie, 5, and Jace, 2, while Kramer was working.
“When there’s someone in a relationship that stays home with the kids all day right — whether it’s the wife or the husband — whoever is going to work comes home [and] it’s like they’re tired from work, the other one is tired from being with the kids,” he said. “It’s that kind of push and pull of who is more tired.”
“There’s some of that light resentment” he continued. “You’re freaking exhausted, you’re working all day. You maybe needed more things from me and then I’m with the kids. … I felt like [there was] lack of respect for what I was doing.”
While Kramer said she thanked Caussin “many times” for “holding it down” and watching their kids, Caussin noted that it wasn’t “fun” to be on the film’s set and not be able to spend time with his wife.
The former NFL player admitted that he questioned whether Jana was being “selfish” and wondered if she didn’t “realize that it [was] hard” for him to bring their kids to set when Jana was only able to “steal a few minutes here and there” to be with him and their children.
“I know you want to see the kids so bad it’s not really from a selfish standpoint but it’s doing all of that — having the kids, taking them back and forth, having their schedules is tough too,” he noted. “I think at times it was like I was just expected to just [come and] go whenever you wanted me.”
Caussin clarified that he didn’t feel “resentment being in that role,” but rather “embraced it.”
He added, “Each person has those feelings … you want the other person to see it your way but it’s not really the case ’cause you’re both in different shoes, you’re both in different situations. So you can’t fully respect the other person’s exhaustion.”
“I think that was the thing,” he explained. “We had that underlying…your schedule was all whacked out of place so we didn’t have the connection and time that we really wanted…So that was tough.”
Kramer and Caussin admitted that they both often use “mean words” when they fight.
“When we fight, we both want to be heard. So we’re just saying it louder,” Kramer said. “We escalate. … It’s like, ‘No, but hear me, hear me.’ And then it just keeps going.”
Kramer and Caussin talk about their relationship highs and lows weekly on their “Whine Down” podcast, in which they’ve discussed Caussin’s past cheating scandal, “sex addiction relapse,” sexting scandal, a vague incident where a marriage “boundary” had been “broken” and accusations in October 2020 he was cheating again.
The pair have been married since 2015 and briefly separated in 2016.