“A terrible speech broke us apart, but an even more terrible speech brought us back together again.”
This time, however, the night ended in tears of joy and not fits of rage.
10 months after the disastrous toast from the ladies, Vinny was given the honor following the wedding do-over the cast gave Angelina after she made up with both Deena and JWoww. And, boy, did he deliver.
He had everyone cracking up immediately after coming out in a pink bridesmaids dress identical to the ones the women wore to the original ceremony. He then launched into his toast.
“Angelina, I know that the last speech was a little bit rocky, but thank you for calling the master speech writer to give a speech and show you all how to really roast somebody and how it’s done,” he began.
“Angelina has had three fiancés, three fiancés,” he continued, before making it clear he’d be taking the original, insult-filled speech and turning it on its head by adding, “because she’s so beautiful!”
“Some people call her the Staten Island Dump,” he continued, as Jenni and Deena started booing, as that comment is the one that elicited jeers during nearly a year prior. “Joke’s on them because the Staten Island Dump’s been closed for several years and now it’s a beautiful park that people love to go to!”
“Speaking of dumps, Angelina’s husband, aka Mr. Handsome, is a garbage man,” he continued, before throwing back his cocktail. “Some people think that might be a modest way to make a living, but … f— I forgot the punchline.”
In a confessional, Ronnie exclaimed that Vinny’s toast was “going down in history giving the worst speech in the world.”
Guadagnino tried his last joke again, bringing it home by saying that being a garbage man comes with “good pension and benefits.” Everyone was in hysterics at this point, getting a kick out of how badly he was (purposefully) bombing. Vinny then turned his attention toward a few of his costars.
“When we first got here, everybody was going in separate directions, like Mike’s nipples,” he joked. “But we were able to pull it all together, like Jenni’s face.”
Even Jenni admitted she liked that roast, before Vinny finally wrapped up his speech.
“Angeliner, these last 10 months have been a disaster and it affected us all. But I am so glad that we’re here and we can laugh at this together and we’re a family again,” he said. “A little f—ed up of a family. We love you, we hope you love us.”
Added Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino in a confessional: “A terrible speech broke us apart, but an even more terrible speech brought us back together again.”
From there, the cast celebrated the second wedding ceremony with some socially-distant strippers — who danced on the back of a see-through tractor trailer.
The next day, Deena, Angelina and JWoww kept the niceties coming as Jenni warned Angelina to put on sunscreen, while Pivarnick once again apologized. “I’m an idiot. I was really mad about the speech, but you guys aren’t mean girls,” she told them.
“No more Regina George? I’ll take it,” said JWoww.
“I can’t believe we’re sitting at the same place at the same time,” exclaimed Angelina. “I’m just open to gaining your trust and understanding how you feel and you understanding how I feel.”
Jenni said she was glad she ended up making the trip to Vegas and, regardless of how “awkward” it was during more than a few moments, she was “really happy that we’re all leaving like this.”
The episode — and the season — ended with Mike and Lauren telling the rest of the cast they were expecting a baby together, with everyone celebrating with hugs and a lot of tears.
“We’re moving forward and, most importantly, we’re doing it together,” said Vinny as the episode came to a close.