Nicolas Cage Fervently Paints Something VERY NSFW in Trailer for Netflix’s History of Swear Words

This project could only have worked with Nicolas Cage, and Nicolas Cage alone.

The Wicker Man legend demonstrates his artistry with a paintbrush and with the English language in the new trailer for Netflix’s upcoming series “Nicolas Cage’s History of Swear Words.”

“It is a thing of great wonder and mystery, quivering with complexity, strength and resilience,” he describes the unseen masterpiece as he fervently paints. “However; also buried within, a delicate femininity, and dare I say — naughtiness.”

“Look one way and you see a gentle feline innocence; look another way and… oh my,” he sweats, clearing his throat.

The subject matter, he boasts, has the power to steer our souls and intoxicate our minds; men have died for it, while women “have moved in with each other way too soon for it”.

“To fully understand its essence we must PLUNGE — unafraid — deep within its enchanted garden,” he announces.

Approaching climax in trademark Cage fashion, he dares the audience to feast their very eyes on the house of life and death, the temple of sensuality, and a term “for that kid too afraid to play dodgeball in class — BEHOLD!”

The word? “It also could be a cat,” he adds.

According to the blurb, the series will teach the history of something so potent, so crucial, so vital to our culture — in other words, The f–king sh-t we live for.

“History of Swear Words with Nicolas Cage is coming to Netflix January 5, motherf–kers,” the streamer announced.