Internet Collectively Heaves at Senator’s ‘Terrifying’ Tuna Melt Recipe

Categories Celebrity

Senator Mark Warner may want to stick to politics and avoid burning retinas with his online cooking tutorials.

The Virginia Democrat took to Instagram on Monday to share a video of himself preparing the delightful culinary treat of a microwaved tuna melt sandwich, much to the dismay of the social media masses.

“My daughters won’t eat them anymore, and my staff tried to stop me from sharing this quarantine delicacy with the world,” Warner captioned the clip. “Fortunately for you, they were OVERRULED. So here it is, my soon-to-be-world-famous Tuna Melt.”

In the 3-minute, stomach churning video, Warner loads two slices of untoasted bread with an artery-clogging amount of mayonnaise, while letting viewers in on a little family secret.

“I love mayo,” he explains. “I know my kids hate mayo, but make sure you get plenty on both sides.”

He then pops open a can of tuna and throws caution to the wind by not draining the packed fish before he plops it on the mounds of the creamy condiment.

As a self-proclaimed “two-slice man,” Warner effortlessly dresses the fish with a pair of medium cheddar slices and then finishes the delicacy off in the microwave for 30 seconds.

Just enough time to wash one’s hands as suggested to combat the coronavirus outbreak.

“Remember to wash our hands for close to 20 seconds, as we all know,” he adds. “Make sure we’ve got no germs, none of the virus.”

The cutting room floor treasure from the latest “Saw” movie ends with Warner proclaiming, “I can’t get my wife and kids to eat these anymore but I tell you, on a coronavirus day, nothing hits the spot more than a tuna melt.”

Well, people certainly felt some sort of way.

“Dude: we may get through #COVIDー19, but there ain’t no way we are surviving your version of a tuna melt,” wrote one concerned follower as another posted, “Thank you for helping my diet. My appetite probably won’t return for several days.”

Warner’s fellow Virginian, Sen. Tim Kaine, tweeted, “I’ve learned a lot of things from my senior senator, but I’m proud to say cooking isn’t one of them.”

“Mark—we need to talk. Call. Please. Your friend KDH.” Senator Kamala Harris replied.

Harris even went so far as to make her own tuna melt video, teasing, “It’s amazing, (the tuna will) just sit in the can while you drain the water out.”

However, some point to Warner’s renowned sense of humor and his “foodie” reputation as clues that this video was merely a PSA for hand washing.

According to The Washington Post, Warner has renovated a beloved restaurant in Alexandria and hosted an acclaimed annual pig roast.

“I’ve cooked for him hundreds of times,” Cathal Armstrong, a James Beard Award-nominated chef, texted the news source. “He has a great palate and great taste.”

Warner was even a guest judge for an episode of “Top Chef.”

The politician later reposted the video with the caption, “If I can get enough retweets for my plan with @BernieSanders @SenDougJones & @SenBlumenthal to guarantee paychecks for every rank-and-file worker in America (including restaurant workers), I promise to never make you people watch me cook another tuna melt.”

Hopefully the word gets out that this was all a clever ploy before people start microwaving their canned fish.

Check out some more hilarious responses below!

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