Sensitivity warning: This article discusses sexual assault.
I adore Laurie Nunn’s Netflix hit Sex Education. As a 30-year-old, it brings me much pleasure knowing those awkward teenage moments of becoming a sexual being are behind me. I don’t often relate to the storylines, but season 2 had a shockingly common sexual assault storyline that was all too close to home.
Aimee Gibbs, played by Aimee Lou Wood, in episode 3 endures a horrific act of sexual violence while riding a public bus in broad daylight. A man by Aimee smiles at her; she politely smiles back. He then masturbates and ejaculates onto her favorite jeans. As the assault takes place, Aimee, a high school student, is surrounded by adults—none of whom come to her aid.
Nunn said the plotline is based on her own experience with sexual assault. Wood has shared that the storyline resonated deeply as she was followed by a man masturbating in his pocket on a train. Tragically, these scenarios are all too relatable. U.K. sexual health charity Brook reports that over half of the country’s students have dealt with unwanted sexual behavior.
Image: Netflix.
After the attack, Aimee puts on a brave face but can’t suppress her trauma. Over the course of the season, she gradually begins to accept that she’s been sexually assaulted. She starts to visualize her attacker everywhere—from the bus to parties with her peers. She ditches her heels and laces up sneakers so she can walk to school.
Sex Education hauntingly captures the confusion that follows such an experience and the process of unraveling the emotional impact. There are a few things that Dr. Racine R. Henry, a psychology professional who has treated survivors of sexual assault for over a decade, wishes the show would have done differently, such as involving Aimee’s parents and Aimee going to therapy.
Like the predator that attacked Aimee, I was forcibly masturbated on by a man who had smiled at me. I was 27 and visiting a historic site while traveling. I was alone in a room when a smiling man asked me to take his photo. I smiled back and obliged. I returned his phone and he grabbed me, demanding a selfie. I went along with it, not wanting to anger him.
Image: Netflix.
He firmly grabbed my waist and moved his hand under my shirt. I objected loudly and pushed him off of me before running into another room. It was a dead end. He stood in the only entrance. I was trapped.
He pushed me down against a wall. In a panic, I froze. I have a history of sexual assault. I was raped when I was 15. I’ve escaped a few masturbating men in New York City who whipped out their penises on crowded subway cars. Once, I was chased down the subway platform by a man with his penis in hand.
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Watching Aimee’s story play out was triggering—and at times—validating.
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The perp started to masturbate violently as he maliciously stared at me. It felt like hours passed before I came back to reality. I began to kick him and scream. He ejaculated on my favorite pair of jeans before running away.
Over three years have passed since I was assaulted, but seeing something so similar occur to a teenage girl left me shaken. I wanted to protect her and fight off her attacker. I screamed at the adults on the bus who didn’t rescue her.
Image: Netflix.
Watching Aimee’s story play out was triggering—and at times—validating. Micro sexual aggressions are traumatizing and the show captured the grim reality of such assaults. Dr. Henry says it’s not unusual for survivors to be triggered by watching a fictitious occurrence.
“Survivors often relive the event by seeing it played out on TV which can evoke fear, shame, guilt, disgust, anger, helplessness, and denial,” Dr. Henry says. “Survivors should enact healthy coping mechanisms when they find themselves triggered, such as talking about the show with a therapist, watching the show with a trusted friend in order to not experience the scenes alone, or turning off the program altogether and refraining from watching any more of it.”
She also notes that the show should have had a trigger warning. If I had known the storyline I wouldn’t have watched the season. ”Being able to expose yourself to depictions of sexual violence isn’t a sign of being healed or making progress,” Dr. Henry says.
Image: Netflix.
It’s Aimee’s connection with her female friends that finally helps her speak about the trauma that being forcibly masturbated on has caused her to have. In episode 7, Aimee confesses to her peers that she’s struggling. Each of the teenagers shares their own experiences with sexual assault. It’s a chilling scene that hones in on the reality that even teenagers are enduring everyday: acts of sexual violence. The students band together and take the bus with Aimee to school in an epic TV moment of female empowerment.
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Like Aimee, my sense of security was shattered after I was attacked.
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“No survivor has to heal in isolation. Sisterhood provides a safe space for survivors to process what they’ve been through,” Dr. Henry says. “When survivors are together, as we saw at the end of the second season, they can freely share their anger, shame, guilt, fear, and feel validation.”
Like Aimee, my sense of security was shattered after I was attacked. I continue to be cautious about being kind to male strangers. I make it clear that I won’t be intimidated. I refuse to take selfies with anyone that I don’t know.
Image: Netflix.
Dr. Henry believes that having the experience of another person forcibly attacking you in a sexual way can stay with you forever. “There’s no shame or weakness in surviving assault, nor is it indicative of your worth as a person,” she says. “The survivor is never, ever to blame and did nothing at all to deserve the attack.” My attacker has left me with a trauma that has indefinitely changed the way I travel. I will never not fear men exerting physical power and violating me.
If you’re a survivor of sexual assault and need to speak to a trained counselor call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or chat online, both are available 24/7.