Every artist has to start somewhere, and one of Alanis Morrissette’s earliest shots was when she opened for Vanilla Ice. And it turns out there were some very strict rules to follow.
Now, this was a few years before “Jagged Little Pill” made her one of the biggest stars of the alternative scene in 1995. Instead, it was the early ’90s and Vanilla Ice was king of the pop world with “Ice Ice Baby,” while Alanis was more musically akin to pop princesses like Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.
When a caller asked her if the rumors were true that one of her edicts as an opening act for the biggest pop-rap star of all time was that she could not make direct eye contact with Robert Van Winkle (Ice’s real name), she gave the most hilarious and diplomatic answer we’ve ever heard. “This is the best answer ever,” Andy Cohen declared, and he’s not wrong.
“A lot of artists are overwhelmed by incredible, large amounts of stimuli and I think me looking at him was overstimulating him,” Alanis said quite seriously. “So I just averted my eyes.”
Did she make him “Head Over Feet”? Did he proclaim to her, You’re “All I Really Want”? Kind of “Ironic,” don’t you think, considering how their career trajectories progressed from that point? She probably would have told him I “See Right Through You,” anyway. Well, you live, “You Learn.” Certainly nobody is “Perfect,” and we’re sure all is “Forgiven” now.
Admittedly, if he was smitten, it could be a bit of a distraction, as he had legions of female fans already wanting him to “Play That Funky Music.”
Speaking of the amazing track list of “Jagged Little Pill,” which we just casually did with one “Hand in My Pocket,” thank you very much, Alanis has yet to reveal who perhaps her biggest track, “You Oughta Know,” is about.
And while she told Andy she has no intention of doing so, it might be worth doing if for no other reason than to get men to stop taking credit for, as Andy was pretty sure “Full House” star Dave Coulier did during an appearance on “WWHL.”
” I am intrigued with the thought, or the fact that more than one person is seeking credit for it,” Alanis said. “There’s something like six people that have taken credit for it and I just think, if you’re gonna take credit for a song where I’m singing about someone being a douche or an asshole, you might not want to say, ‘Hey, that’s me!’”
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