Lots happened on Wednesday’s episode of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” so we’ve taken the liberty of breaking down all the drama into sections.
The ladies were still on their dramatic Jamaican getaway for Jennifer Aydin’s birthday. And while Jennifer, Margaret Josephs and Jackie Goldscheider rode horses along the beach, Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga and Dolores Catania decided to tan by the shore.
How Melissa Really Feels About Teresa’s Future with Joe
While at the beach, Melissa asked Teresa if she had spoken to Joe Giudice since being on the trip. She said she spoke to him that morning.
“They’re supposed to make a decision about the appeal any day now. I hope it’s a good outcome. I want it to be a good outcome for my daughters ’cause they need Daddy home,” Tre told Melissa and Dolores. “Like, Audriana — she’s 9. He’s been gone since she’s 6.”
“She missed a lot of years with him. I’m f–king gonna start crying right now, I’m serious,” Melissa said. “Obviously, you’re fighting very hard for him and for your daughters, but do you think he’s gonna win?”
Teresa didn’t answer. Instead, she wanted to know what Melissa and Dolores thought was going to happen.
“I really want him to come home, but I do think they’re gonna make an example out of him,” Melissa replied cautiously, as Teresa noted that the comment gave her goosebumps. “I just wanna be happy again,” she told her sister-in-law. “It’s like, I haven’t been happy in so long.”
“You know what I think’s gonna happen for you?” Melissa interjected, trying to be positive. “I feel like, whether it be with Joe or not with Joe, I honestly feel there’s a f–king rainbow at the end.” Teresa wiped away tears, noting, “It’s been really dark the past five years.” Melissa did not disagree.
In the privacy of her own confessional, however, Melissa was more candid. “I would never say to Teresa, ‘You’re not gonna end up with Joe,'” she explained, “but my gut feeling is that Teresa is gonna end up moving on. It will be super hard, and it is scary, but it’s also full of possibilities, and I want her to start imagining that.”
Teresa Takes on Margaret
As Joe Gorga predicted to Melissa, it took Teresa a full day to fully process the joke Margaret made last episode about Tre not liking “jail bait” because she likes men to be “a minimum age of 21.”
On this week’s episode, Teresa vented to Melissa and Dolores, saying, “Did I ever make a joke about her and [her husband] Joe? No. You don’t just say things that you think. And she’s very smart! Honestly, Margaret’s pissing me off right now. She’s like a clogged toilet with all her f–king bullshit.”
So the next night at dinner, Teresa spotted a sign near the bar of the restaurant that said, “Any woman can have the body of a 21 year old as long as she buys him a few drinks first.”
“Oh my God, guys! Look at this saying! I love it!” she said sarcastically as she got up to take the sign off the wall and bring it to the table. “Look at this! A sign just for me! Right, Margaret?”
“Uh-oh,” Margaret said after reading the message aloud.
“At least if I wanted one, I could get one,” Teresa said as she flipped her hair and glared at Margaret.
“Teresa, were you offended that I said that?” Margaret asked. Teresa said, “Yeah, I was offended. I was like, ‘I know Marge always thinks before she talks, so like why would she say that, especially after the articles just came out.’ I’m like, ‘Why would she say that?’ I consider you a friend, that’s why I was a little disappointed. I never disrespected you in any way.”
Melissa’s mouth was hanging wide open.
“I am very sorry,” Margaret replied. “You know I would never say anything purposefully to hurt you. The truth is, it was off the cuff. I didn’t know the guy was gonna be serving rum of different ages, but when I said it, it never even clicked to me about the article. But it was funny. I would admit if I was referencing the article. I wasn’t referencing the article.”
In the moment, Teresa said she understood, and the ladies agreed to move on, but in her confessional, Tre was still upset. “Maybe Margaret doesn’t think I’m smart enough to see that she’s trying to take a shot at me, when of course, I got it. If you think I didn’t then you’re f–king stupid.”
Dolores Comes for Jackie
At the very same dinner, Dolores decided to put herself in the hot seat by bringing up the disagreement she had had with Jackie the night prior — when Jennifer drunkenly blurted out that Dolores said she doesn’t consider Jackie a friend because she feels Jackie was “cut from a different cloth” and raised in a very different way.
In the heat of the conversation — and it got heated — Dolores said she wasn’t the only one who made snarky comments about Jackie and pointed the finger at Melissa, who denied ever agreeing with Dolores. (Bravo’s instant replay confirmed Melissa’s denial.)
Dolores told Jackie she felt she harped on issues and fought about things and in ways she didn’t like, prompting Jackie to point out that maybe Dolores just doesn’t like anyone who’s not “old-school Italian.”
“Jackie, what it comes down to is you’re just not for me,” Dolores finally blurted out. “That’s all.”
“Can I just say something?” Jackie asked, to which Dolores replied, “I’ll let you do what you don’t let other people do. Go ahead.”
“Stop making judgments about me ’cause you don’t know shit!” Jackie said, as Melissa ordered another bottle of wine. “You don’t know shit about me! You’re making judgments out of your f–king ass.”
“That’s why we’re not friends,” Dolores said in response. “Look at how upset you get! You know what, Jackie? You’re right. You are not my friend ’cause I don’t know you.”
“I don’t wanna be your friend! I don’t wanna be your friend!” a visibly Jackie fired back. Dolores replied, “I don’t wanna be yours either, really, to be honest with you.”
“I don’t consider it a loss, Dolores!” Jackie said sternly as she leaned in, while Dolores mockingly replied, “Okay, Jackie!”
“Oh my God, we’re yelling in a restaurant again,” a mortified Melissa mumbled to herself.
Later, when everyone retired to their separate quarters, Melissa and Jennifer tried to explain to Dolores why what she said to Jackie was so insulting. She wasn’t having it and said Jackie was just an “insecure” “pain in the ass.”
Meanwhile, Jackie vented to Margaret, who actually tried to defend her during dinner, saying, “Don’t tell me I’m not like the rest of you! What, was I raised in f–king like the jungle? I’m okay with being a little softer than she is. If something insults me, it insults me! I’m sorry. It’s like she comes from this mentality where nothing’s allowed to bother you. You smother that shit, and you don’t let anybody see it.”
“Your man f–king cheats on you when you’re nine months pregnant, that shit don’t f–king bother you,” she added. “And that’s just not who I am.”
Househusbands Talk Sex Lives
While the girls were away, the guys got together for some food and poker. Naturally, they discussed their sex lives. (Do men ever outgrow this?) Joe Gorga, who we all know loves to get it in, said he had to do it with Melissa it at least five times a week, while Joe Benigno, who’s 63, said he could go two to three times a day with Margaret. He was applauded and cheered.
Poor Bill Aydin said it wasn’t as infrequent as once a month for him and Jennifer but that it was pretty darn close. Joe Gorga said in a later confessional that if a married couple is having sex that infrequently, there must be something wrong with their marriage.
“The Real Housewives of New Jersey” airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. on Bravo.
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