The woman behind Nori’s Black Book — a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian’s sassy 6-year-old daughter — is bringing her talents to TooFab.
Each week, “Nori” recaps new episodes of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” and gives us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
Sunday’s episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” started with Kim, Kourtney, Khloe and Kanye playing a game that Kanye created. The idea of the game is to pick a page in the dictionary and highlight all the positive words. The group discussed the words they chose and why they chose them.
I’ve played this game before, and I’m told that I’m not very good at it. I look to choose words like “corporation,” “profit,” “investment,” or “entrepreneur.” Auntie Kourt said she didn’t consider my words positive. Of course she doesn’t. -NW
Later, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney did a photo shoot for CR Fashion Magazine. At the shoot, their hairstylist told Khloe that he broke up with his boyfriend but was trying to get him back. Khloe compared him to her ex-boyfriend, Tristan, because she said that Tristan had also been trying to get back together with her. However, she said the most she can handle is a co-parent relationship.
Auntie Khloe can literally turn anybody’s situation into a comparison to her and Tristan. I asked her how her day was one time, and she launched into how that’s something Tristan always says when he calls her but that she just wants to be co-parents and not date again. I literally grabbed her hand, looked deep into her eyes and told her, “You couldn’t pay me to care.” Which is saying a lot because I can almost always be bought. -NW
At Kourtney’s house, Kim told Kris and Kourtney that Kylie always has extravagant parties for her friends and that Khloe feels some type of way about it. Khloe wasn’t jealous but thought Kylie should be doing those types of parties for her sisters, too. Kim felt that Khloe deserved a Kylie organized party because she’s had a rough year. Kim talked to Kylie, and Kylie called Khloe to let her know she wanted to take over her birthday party.
Let’s be real. Auntie Khloe didn’t have the money, friends or vision to throw her own party. -NW
At Kim’s condo, Kim and Kourtney met with a group of moms that had been fighting the Santa Susana Field Laboratory. They wanted to get more information and find out what they could do to help. The moms suggested they get in touch with Senator Stern.
At Kim’s house, Kris told Kim that for Khloe’s birthday she bought her dog like Gabbana. Kris felt bad she was unable to attend Khloe’s birthday party, so she wanted to do something special for her. Kim thought it was a bad idea, but since Khloe bought North a hamster without her permission, she was glad to help make Khloe miserable.
Mommy is so dramatic. When she brings a new baby home every year without my permission, you don’t see me trying to get revenge. She really needs to grow up. -NW
Khloe had an appearance in Connecticut, and Malika and Kadijah joined her. They were only in town for 24 hours, so they decided to make it a girls night. When Khloe arrived at the hotel, she received a diamond necklace from Tristan. Tristan had asked Malika and Kadijah to help him surprise Khloe with the gift. Khloe was conflicted about the necklace. She wanted to accept the gift, but she said a necklace wasn’t going to fix everything. Khloe then FaceTimed Tristan to thank him for the necklace. She said he didn’t treat her that well when they were together, so she was very surprised.
Auntie Khloe lost me at “an appearance in Connecticut.” Is Good American doing that bad? Did Tristan skip a few child support payments? -NW
Kim and Kourtney met with Senator Stern about cleaning up the Santa Susana Laboratory Field. The Senator told the girls their huge influence could help push everything along. Later, Kim and Kourt went to an event called Rock the Cleanup to speak out about the laboratory and see what they could do to help the cause.
Khloe FaceTimed Tristan and True before her appearance in Connecticut. Tristan told Khloe he loved her before he got off the phone, but Khloe did not say it back. Khloe said that she’s not interested in getting involved with Tristan again. The Malikas understood. Khloe was happy to be doing her appearance because she needed a drink and carefree fun. It was the best night she had had in a long time.
I’m very glad the Malikas could be with Auntie Khloe and support her while she was going through her thing with Tristan. I’m not happy, however, that I had to pay overtime just for them to be dancing and drinking. I’ll bring it up in the staff meeting. -NW
Kris later enlisted Kim and Scott to help her deliver three chocolate lab puppies to Khloe’s house. She ended up getting three dogs because the dogs were sisters and she didn’t want to separate them. When they got to Khloe’s house, Kim distracted Khloe while Scott and Kris surprised her with the dogs. Khloe burst into tears when she saw them.
Later, Kim came back to visit Khloe and inquired about the dogs. Khloe said she adored the puppies but that she wasn’t ready for them. She thought True was too young to have dogs, plus, she just moved back into her newly renovated home, so it wasn’t the right time. Khloe made sure that the puppies were going to great owners.
Auntie Khloe is already a single mom to True. Now Kris wants her to be a single mom to three dogs, too? That’s cruel even for me. -NW
On Khloe’s birthday, Khloe wanted to just chill at Kim’s house before her big party. Khloe told Scott that Tristan gave her a promise ring for her birthday. Scott thought it looked like an engagement ring. Tristan also gave her a handwritten card, which she said was something she’s always wanted. But Khloe admitted she didn’t want there to be any blurred lines. She maintained that there was nothing romantic between her and Tristan. Scott understood the situation because he went through something similar with Kourtney. He said that Khloe shouldn’t think too much about it.
Ironically, Jordyn sent Auntie Kylie a promise ring too. However, just like Auntie Khloe, Auntie Kylie is only interested in co-parenting Stormi. -NW
At Khloe’s birthday celebration, Khloe was surprised to see everything Kylie had planned for her birthday at her home. There was pink everywhere. Khloe thought that Kylie did a phenomenal job, and she felt so loved. It was more than she could ever dream. Khloe said her birthday wish was for peace, happiness and forgiveness in her life.
I was really surprised that Auntie Khloe’s birthday wish wasn’t for better style. I mean, what was that pink crop top/jean combo she wore to her party? But then again, who am I to tell someone how to use their wish. -NW
The next day, everyone was at Scott’s house recapping Khloe’s birthday party. Khloe said that at her party, Malika and her boyfriend said they didn’t think it was over between Khloe and Tristan. Khloe said she appreciated that he was trying to show her how sorry he was, but she maintained she did not want to be with him. Khloe wanted her and Tristan to get to the same place that Scott and Kourtney got to in their relationship. She said she just wanted to be great friends and co-parents with Tristan — that’s it.
If you were playing a drinking game with the word “co-parent” this episode, you should be pretty faded by now. I’m thinking of banning the word from the rest of the season. -NW
“Keeping Up with the Kardashians” airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on E!
Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at [email protected].
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