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Well, we are deep into the Spooky Season, and youâve gathered around my, uh, large cauldron (?) for one express purpose. What if I told you I had a list of allâthatâs right, all of em!âthe Myers-Briggs types as Halloween monsters? After all, what could be ~spookier~ than self awareness? And what is a truer form of knowing oneself than the kind that comes from being assigned to one of 16 possible MBTI creatures of the night?
Halloween is the perfect time to look within and make plans with your inner monster.  Should you spend your October 31st building your own best friend out of spare parts, howling at the moon or biting your neighbors?* Thereâs literally endless (16) paths and only one way to find out which one is yours.
Crows begin to flock all around us, while other seasonally appropriate creatures do their various things as I unfold my scroll (dusty tome? Ancient text? Use your imagination) of personality test-based soothsayings. I have looked deep into your consciousness and assigned you a dark and wonderful Halloween monster based on my findings. The question is: Are you brave enough to read on?
*DISCLAIMER: Please do NOT bite your neighbors, regardless of what your Myers-Briggs Halloween monster is.

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ENTJ: Dracula
Youâre charismatic, domineering and are known to collect followers. Capes and castles are definitely suited to your aesthetic, and God help anyone who disturbs your fucking slumber.

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INTJ: Dr. Frankenstein
Youâre happiest when youâre locked in your lab doing experiments, reading dusty tomes or anything else that doesnât involve directly engaging with people. Youâre also never happier than when you get to point out that, technically, you are Frankenstein and the other one is your monster.

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ENTP: Werewolf
Itâs hard to predict what form youâre going to be in at any given timeâyouâve definitely been described as a âwild cardâ before, and randomly becoming a different species definitely qualifies as that. Itâs always a toss-up, whether youâre gonna be chilling with your pack or going all lone wolf for the night. But either way, youâre pretty comfortable in various states of undress and youâre always ready to spend a weekend in the woods.

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INTP: Mummy
Youâre pretty happy getting to ruminate in your sarcophagus, pondering any mistakes you made while ruling over Ancient Egypt and contemplating how you can do better the next time someone activates your cursed scarab amulet and brings your reign of terror back upon the waking world.

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ENFJ: The Headless Horseman
Sure, thereâs your history as an animal lover and your zest for getting into the spirit of #thotautumn, but above all else, youâre the Headless Horseman because of your irrepressible love of Teaching Someone a Lesson.

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INFJ: Frankensteinâs Monster
Youâre big on internal processing and not big on talking. Spend a lot of time reflecting on all the personality traits youâve picked up and stitched on, and also can we talk about the record-breaking levels of existential dread??

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INFP: Sheet Ghost
Youâre hard to spot when you want to be. A big lover of nostalgia and melancholy, youâve definitely been described as either floaty or vague.

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ESTJ: Zombie
Look: Above all else, you love getting out of the house, meeting new people and organizing a crowd with a singular missionâand isnât that just what a zombie is?

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ISTJ: Killer Robot
Youâre pragmatic, great with objectively assessing situations, and you love when you can neatly carry out one of your prefabricated functions. You also have more gadgets on you at all times than anyone could possibly imagine.

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ESTP: Boogeyman
Youâve put a lot of effort into Spreading Your Brand, and you rely pretty much 95% on your reputation preceding you. However, youâre also never opposed to jumping out at someone and shouting, âBoo!â if it comes down to it.

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ISTP: Invisible Man
You will defy definition at every turn, eavesdrop on every conversation you can and will absolutely never stop using your pathological ambiguity to get away with bits.

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ESFJ: Unfinished Business Ghost
Okay, I know I, technically, already did ghosts, but this is specific. Look deep within yourself. You know there are some things on your to-do list tonight that youâd defy death to get done.

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ISFJ: Little Green Man
Youâre famously elusive, leaving behind only rumors that youâve ever appeared at a function, and you have a hard time showing up to take credit for the work you do (meaning it usually gets blamed on a weather balloon).

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ESFP: Killer Clown
Look, above all else, youâre an entertainer. And whether the outlet is doing capers for the crowds at a circus, or, yeah, sure, appearing at the edge of the woods with a chainsaw and suddenly breaking into a run, youâre going to do what you do best: COMMIT.

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ISFP: Swamp Thing
You love nothing more than getting all cozy in the swamp that youâve painstakingly curated to fit your aesthetic, and you will scare away as many horny teens as it takes to achieve maximum coziness.

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ENFP: Banshee
Youâve probably heard that you spend life floating a few feet above reality, but in this case itâs more like⌠swooping. Youâre also pretty vocal about your feelings, including in particular these very strong feelings you have that people should know exactly when theyâre going to die, and theyâre best off hearing it from your haunting screams.