The Craziest Goop Products: Vampire Spray, Vibrator Necklace & More

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Gwyneth Paltrow launched Goop back in 2008 as a newsletter centered upon her obsession with health and overall wellness, and luxe lifestyle recommendations to the privileged few able to afford them. Today, the lifestyle brand has grown into a sizable wellness empire flanked by the actress’s, at times, contested wellness “secrets,” and a selection of crazy “Goop” products to accompany her advice (often at outrageous price points, I might add). The time Paltrow suggested steaming your vagina as a means of cleansing and method of balancing your hormones, or that other time when she posited that walking around barefoot in nature (a.k.a. “earthing”) was an all-natural cure for depression, are just two such pieces of kooky advice that instantly come to mind.

However, despite her controversial approach to well-being, her platform is nonetheless chock full of eccentric wellness, beauty and lifestyle merchandise, spanning from sex toys to luxe skincare serums and plenty of designer apparel. While many of the items on offer are undoubtedly bizarre, they’re nonetheless equally as compelling — despite being worthy of a double take or two, to be sure. While we’re not exactly sure why we need Vampire Repellent in our lives (um, I thought garlic was the go-to solution for this…) or a gold pendant necklace that doubles as a vibrator (like, when would we actually use that, IRL?) we’re not exactly in opposition to Goop’s array of tightly-curated assortment of quirky merchandise either. We scoured the site for some of the most off-beat offerings, and rounded up a few of the most, shall we say, unique finds.

The Craziest Things We've Spotted on Goop (So Far) | STYLECASTER

Goop.

I like mustard and all, but usually on my sandwiches — not in my bath. Apparently, this potion was formulated by a chiropractor to help patients detox. It’s infused with mustard seed and a blend of essential oils.

The Craziest Things We've Spotted on Goop (So Far) | STYLECASTER

Goop.

This sex pillow helps you “hit all the right angles” while you’re getting it on. While it’s a little on the expensive side, it’s actually kind of genius.

The Craziest Things We've Spotted on Goop (So Far) | STYLECASTER

Goop.

To be honest, I’m not sure what this aromatic spray actually does, but seeing as how Halloween is on the horizon, maybe it’s not a bad investment?

The Craziest Things We've Spotted on Goop (So Far) | STYLECASTER

Goop.

I like crystals and all, but I’m not used to seeing one in a water bottle. With that being said, this water bottle is most definitely a pretty way to stay hydrated.

The Craziest Things We've Spotted on Goop (So Far) | STYLECASTER

Goop.

These absorbent panties were designed to help with bladder leaks. It may sound like a gimmick, but they’re also pretty genius.

The Craziest Things We've Spotted on Goop (So Far) | STYLECASTER

Goop.

This bullet necklace is perfect for a “night out or a night in,” and doubles as a high-powered vibrator. I mean, I do love a good two-in-one accessory.

The Craziest Things We've Spotted on Goop (So Far) | STYLECASTER

Goop.

This spray transforms your average piece of toilet paper into an instant wet wipe, but also functions as a scented air freshener. Not a bad idea, frankly.

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