Nikki Bella Admits Seeing John Cena Move on Will Kill Her as She Returns to Napa Post-Breakup

Nikki Bella is making peace with the past.

The WWE superstar is back in Napa Valley in this exclusive clip from Sunday’s season finale of Total Bellas. This time around, it appears she and twin sis Brie Bella are visiting the vineyard-lined landscape to kick back with some wine and a good view. Understandably though, it’s impossible for Nikki to forget that her last trip to Napa was motivated by very different circumstances.

Almost a year ago, the Bellas traveled to the same picturesque NorCal spot to check out venues ahead of Nikki and John Cena‘s would-be wedding. The pair called off their engagement a few months later, and Nikki has steered clear of wine country ever since.

“This is the first time I’ve been back in Napa since my big breakup and I just immediately get all the memories. But a part of me is like, ‘OK, Nicole. Now you have to make new memories,'” she tells the confessional camera, as old footage from her and Brie’s 2018 location scouting trip flashes across the screen.

As difficult as it is to revisit those memories in such a literal way, it sounds like the Bella Twin is taking it all in stride.

“I think that’s why I was crying so much yesterday,” Nikki tells Brie. “I feel like it was the first time I’m just fully, like, starting my true grieving and healing process.”

So, when her twin asks how Nikki’s going to feel seeing John with another woman, she admits it’s going to be hard, but she’s ready to face it. “No matter what, the next time I see him with someone it’s gonna kill me,” she says, but that definitely won’t stop her from continuing her own post-breakup journey: “I’m ready for a new me. I need it.”

 As for where to go from here? Hear more about Nikki’s personal revelation in the clip above!